Jan 17, 2011 12:00AM

Baby Names For Miranda

Miranda Kerr needs our help naming her son. Suggestions include Orlando, CatDog and Soda.

So it's been a week since Miranda Kerr gave birth to a baby boy, but still no name!  Miranda's mum says they're having trouble deciding, which is all the encouragement I needed. Here are some suggestions based on the wise choices of other celebrity parents.

Option 1: JUST USE YOUR OWN NAME.

George Foreman has five sons and named them George. All of them! Courtney Cox loved her own nickname Coco so much that she named her child after it. Following her naming convention, the first two letters of Miranda Kerr's names spell Mike, which is convenient. Will and Jada Smith have Willard, Jaden and Willow. I call this the "CBF approach to naming children".

THE SMITH FAMILY —MORE INTERESTED IN HIGHLY SUCCESSFUL CAREERS THAN NAMING CHILDREN

Option 2: GO CHILDHOOD.

Nicholas Cage changed his surname from Coppola to Cage because of Marvel comics and then named his child Kal-El because that's Superman's birth name. What a dweeb! I assume Miranda Kerr watched CheezTV and ABC Kids instead of reading comics, so CatDog or Gumby Kerr-Bloom would work.

Option 3: SALUTE YOUR HERITAGE.

Not only would naming your child 'Australia' have the precedent of 'Ireland' (Alec Baldwin and Kim Basinger) but it would also be a terrific homage to that blockbuster film starring homegrown talent, Ned Kelly.

Option 4: FIND RANDOM OBJECTS.

The Clash legend, Joe Strummer, named his child Jazz Domino, which is genius. Considering Miranda's obsession, if the name was food-related it would have to be organic.

Option 5: ASK GEORGE COSTANZA.

Unfortunately, Erykah Badu and Andre 3000 have already taken 'Seven', so you might have to settle for 'Soda' instead.

GEORGE COSTANZA —NAMER OF BABIES

At the start I was totally joking, but if Miranda and Orlando don't choose CatDog (and why wouldn't they?), I'm keeping it.

Madeleine Atkins