Apr 20, 2016 6:07PM

Cook Suck's Guide To The Dankest Stoner Snacks Of 420


Our resident bookworm and depressing dinner analyst, Cook Suck, has delved into the deep depths of the internet to bring us some truly disgusting stoner snacks this 420. Whatta guy!

If you're not lucky enough to be attending this very real Limp Bizkit 420 party, we'd suggest getting some inspo/slight nausea from the following very real cook ups. Take it away, Cook Suck...

People who punch cones all day are totally harmless and totally useless, bless their dank hearts, and basically when you choof a beug and are keen for a feed an entire food subculture is born. So chuck on your shittest pair of Vans, ash burnt tracksuit pants, comfiest Echo hoodie, proudly Blu-Tack that Scarface poster up on your wall and Alfoil up those pesky windows 'cause it's #420 day.


Mac and cheese to stoners is like Air Force 1s to fuccbois — an absolutely essential nod to the world that you are truly cooked and ain't gettin' laid anytime soon.


Cheeb lords aren't totally useless, jet fuel can't melt steel beams but Doritos can batter chook breast. I'm feeling this dish, 8.5/10 — burn one down for me, brother!


BOOOO, fuck imagine how many wears this guy gets out of his RIO undies before his mum comes round to his 13-person share house to do his washing. Also, I'm fine with west-Mex but it ain't a burrito, much like how your future ain't important.


4.20pm is the only concept of time to the bong lord, the other 1339 minutes of the day are totally meaningless; so evidently they are the true masters of conceptual breakfast/lunch/dinner fusion. Who gives a shit what time it is when you've got putlocker.is and a fridge full of Homebrand pre-grated tasty cheese?


You've gotta respect the absolute Sisyphus-level content game that's needed to be a successful combo #fitness420 Instagram chick.


Just smashing down some Kellogg's Special Kush before a long day of arguing with strangers in YouTube comment sections. Bonus points for the burner phone and your mate "scenicjoints" — wacky tobaccy is all about community


The sheer fucking joy of sitting around being a piece of shit teenager and, after playing Mario Kart for about 12 hours straight, the doorbell rings and your gigantic, absolutely fucked up turbo+ pizza arrives. It's basically a culinary Hiroshima on Naples but maaaan that side of BBQ wings is tight, let's race rainbow road again.


"I really need to get my life together ay..." *Punches cone* "I know, I'll add CARROTS!!!!"


Nothing says, "Oi Robbo! Me Centrelink's gone into me account!" quite like bongs with the boys and delivery Halal Snack Packs — a treat for all Australians — whether you're Western Sydney AF or just some small time Haram Dingo weed dealer from Cronulla.

Photos: Instagram, Facebook, Tumblr

Cook Suck