Feb 24, 2017 9:00PM

Lana Del Rey Joins The World's Witches To Cast A Spell On Tiny Hands Trump

One of us!
The witches of the world are uniting for a mass ritual to bind Donald Trump and all those who abet him. It's incredible. And, in a single tweet, we now have confirmation that our babe LDR is a witch who will be joining in.
 
 
The details: the spell is to be performed at the stroke of midnight on every waning crescent moon until he gets the boot from the office. It's important to follow the clock that rules Trump Tower, for maximum energy, so convert your local time to EST. 
 
What you'll need:
- Unflattering photo of Trump
- Tower tarot card (from any deck)
- Tiny stub of an orange candle
- Pin or small nail (to inscribe candle)
- White candle (any size), representing the element of Fire
- Small bowl of water, representing elemental Water
- Small bowl of salt, representing elemental Earth
- Feather (any), representing the element of Air
- Matches or lighter
- Ashtray or dish of sand
 
Optional:
- Piece of pyrite (fool’s gold)
- Sulfur
- Black thread (for traditional binding variant)
- Baby carrot (as substitute for orange candle stub)
 
Preparation:
- Write "Donald J. Trump" on the orange candle stub with a pin or nail
- Arrange other items in a pleasing circle in front of you
- Lean the Tower card against something so that it’s standing up (vertically)
- Say a prayer for protection and invoke blessing from your preferred spirit or deity. Reading the 23rd Psalm aloud is common in Hoodoo/Conjure/Rootwork traditions. - Experienced magicians may perform an appropriate banishing ritual.
 
Ritual:
 
(Light white candle)
 
Hear me, oh spirits
Of Water, Earth, Fire, and Air
Heavenly hosts
Demons of the infernal realms
And spirits of the ancestors
 
(Light inscribed orange candle stub)
 
I call upon you
To bind
Donald J. Trump
So that he may fail utterly
That he may do no harm
To any human soul
Nor any tree
Animal
Rock
Stream
or Sea
 
Bind him so that he shall not break our polity
Usurp our liberty
Or fill our minds with hate, confusion, fear, or despair
And bind, too,
All those who enable his wickedness
And those whose mouths speak his poisonous lies
 
I beseech thee, spirits, bind all of them
As with chains of iron
Bind their malicious tongues
Strike down their towers of vanity
 
(Invert Tower tarot card)
 
I beseech thee in my name
(Say your full name)
In the name of all who walk
Crawl, swim, or fly
Of all the trees, the forests,
Streams, deserts,
Rivers and seas
In the name of Justice
And Liberty
And Love
And Equality
And Peace
 
Bind them in chains
Bind their tongues
Bind their works
Bind their wickedness
 
(Light the small photo of Trump from the flame of the orange candle stub and hold carefully above the ashtray)
 
(Speak the following loudly and with increasing passion as the photo burns to ashes)
 
So mote it be!
So mote it be!
So mote it be!
 
(Blow out orange candle, visualizing Trump blowing apart into dust or ash*)
 
(Pinch or snuff out the white candle, ending the ritual)
 
Afterward, ground yourself by having a good, hearty laugh, jumping up and down, clapping your hands, stomping your feet, and having a bite to eat. Grounding is very important—don’t neglect it. And remember—he hates people laughing at him.
Finally, bury the orange candle stub or discard it at a crossroads or in running water. 
 

Hayley Morgan