Mar 27, 2014 12:43PM

North Korean Men To All Get Kim Jong-un Haircut

All of them.
Welcome to today's instalment of 'North Korea Is An Unfathomable Shitstorm Of A Country.' The modern-day Soviet Union under Stalin, the country's prisoners citizens are privy to many and varying forms of perpetual propaganda, bizarre and contrived rituals that demonstrate 'love' for past and current leaders, plus a bunch of other stuff that we don't know about, because how would we know? Also, locals can't use the fucking internet — only it's lame sister intra-form.
 
 
Now it's been decided that men are required to get the same haircut as Kim Jong-un. Yes, that's right. This is actually so un-funny. "Our leader's haircut is very particular, if you will," one victim tells Radio Free Asia. "It doesn't always go with everyone since everyone has different face and head shapes." And he's right. Not everyone is blessed with this:
This isn't the first count of compulsory coiffeurs. Prior to this, men were pretty spoilt for choice, having ten haircuts to choose from — any of the gorgeous styles you see below. 
 
 
Women still have 18 style options — reportedly married women are permitted to approach their cuts with more artistic flair than their single counterparts. 
 
 
When this 10/18 hair option thing was rolled out, North Korea's state TV launched a campaign against long hair called "Let us trim our hair in accordance with the Socialist lifestyle." True story. 
 
Yeah, this sounds about right:
 
 
:/ :/ :/