Apr 29, 2014 10:19AM

Russia Wants To Fucking Ban Swearing

In shows, films, plays and at concerts.
Fucking hell, Russia. According to the BBC, the lower house of the Russian Parliament has just passed a bill that bans all swearing in films, music and other works of art including live concerts. Russia's citizens will be looking at fines of up to 2,5000 roubles ($70 USD) for swearing in public — a penalty they will be expected to throw into a gigantic swear jar in Palace Square, St. Petersburg.* Russian officials will even have to pay double, which means that Putin could soon be broke, so yay! Jokes; he is exempt. 
 
 
What counts as a swear word, you say? A panel of Russian 'experts' will determine exactly what counts as a swear if the measure is approved by the upper house and signed into law by Putin on 1 July 2014. If you’re at a loss personally, as to what the best swears are in Russian, see our handy guide below. If you're planning a trip to Russia, take a loud speaker and make sure you're on high ground (out of reach) or otherwise hiding.
 
 
пизда́ (Pizdá) — Cunt
пизде́ц (Pizdéts) — Deep shit
пиздaтый (Pizdáty) — Literally "pussy-like"  (means 'awesome')
Заткнись, иди на хуй (Zat-knees, ee-dee na khuy) — Shut up and fuck you
Хуй тебе в рот! (Chlen v rot!) — Dick in your mouth
немой ебать (Nemoy yebat) — Dumb Fuck
едят дерьмо и умирают (Yedyat der'mo i umirayut) — Eat shit and die
подростков рывок (Podrostkov ryvok) — Adolescent jerk
 
* Or just give it to a cop idk.