Oct 07, 2014 6:09PM

Study Says Sexting Is Officially The New First Base

Ah, teens — with your technological savvy and apparent sexually promiscuous ways. The latest source of potential moral panic comes from a new study published in the American Journal of Pediatrics which states that sexting is so normal for the youth of today (with their hippidy hop music and rollerblades), that it's the new first base. Gasp. *clutches pearls*
The research aimed to find out whether sexting preceded actual sex by studying the anonymous confessions of a group of year 12 students. They found that teenagers who sext are more likely to have sex within the year. But that doesn't mean they're more susceptible to making risky decisions in the sack, which is good. 
As Professor Jeff Temple, author of the study said, "Sexting preceded sexual behaviour in many cases," Temple said. "The theory behind that is sexting may act as a gateway or prelude to sexual behaviours or increases the acceptance of going to the next level," adding "I think the really cool thing about this study in answering the question of what comes first is … this could hold the key to prevention programs." That is cool…dude. 
What could also hold the key to prevention is just holding an assembly at every school and recounting the long list of all the humiliation/abuse suffered by people who put tit/dick picks in the wrong hands — until they cry and vow to only use their iPhone for Candy Crush until they can start paying their own bill.