May 31, 2011 12:00AM

Sydney Film Festival

A highly scientific method of determining which film to see.

There are literally eight thousand films showing at next week's Sydney Film Festival. Really? No. But there are at least 160 films, which is a lot. How do you decide which ones are worth watching? Well, you could read every film description, watch every trailer, research director interviews or sort through the schedule by category. Alternatively, you could choose based on the title of each film.

Using this Mensa-approved system, these are the films on our wish-list:

11. Tyrannosaur

10. Stake Land [would rate higher if called Steak Land]

9. The Troll Hunter

8. The Beaver

7. Old Cats

6. LBF [This stands for Living Between Fucks. No, but seriously, it does. Look it up.]

5. Norwegian Wood

4. Black & White & Sex

3. Animals Distract Me

2. How to Start Your Own Country

1. Hobo with a Shotgun

And we would stay away from the films below. I'm sure they're great films! They made it to the program of the Sydney Film Festival! But they have lame titles.

11. Written on the Wind

10. The Hungry Tide

9. Where the Heart Is

8. There's Always Tomorrow

7. Silent Souls

6. Heavy Heads

5. The Future

4. I Wish I Knew

3. Scarlet Road

2. Crimson Gold

1. Cedar Rapids

The festival starts next week and runs from 8-19 June.

Words: Madeleine Atkins