Aug 21, 2014 3:44PM

The Newest Human Barbie Is Only 16

Has never heard of that Breatharian, Racist Alien Barbie.
Move over, Racist Alien Barbie — there's a new human Barbie in town Turkmenistan and she's only sixteen. While miniature Ukranian-born gal denies using Photoshop and says weird things about surgery like, "I think that all women should be well-kept and immaculate," and "If a girl doesn't have beautiful eyes then they should wear contact lenses to sort it out. If they have a crooked nose, then she must do something about it, whether that's plastic surgery or not," it's strange and surreal to remember that she's still in highschool. 
 
 
You wouldn't know it from the comments she's getting in the media though. With a 5.4 foot frame, a 32F bra size and the cold, contact-lens stare of an actual Barbie, most of the media Lolita Richi (as she calls herself) has gotten, fixates on her b00bz
 
 
She claims she's never had surgery of any kind, or Photoshopped her images (that curvy park bench below begs to differ, but okay). She's also adamant that she doesn't diet, saying, "I have a gorgeous figure so I don't even have to diet. I just eat whatever's available in the fridge whether that's sausages or fruit," and she's NEVER heard of that other famous Human Barbie: "I think I've achieved this image better than anyone else. I'm the ultimate vamp woman. I haven't even heard of Valeria Lukyanova." 
 
 
Errm, you just said her name, girl! Sounds like you may have heard of her. If you're worried about what Lolita's parents think of all this, don't stress. Her mum is her photographer and supplier of wigs and props. She's fine with it. #coolmumnotaregularmum
 
 
If you're wondering, Lolita doesn't have a boyfriend at school, saying she wants a "really manly man who is polite, sensible and who doesn't run away from problems. He also needs to have a full head of hair. I don't like bald men." Sounds like she's not talking about a fellow 16-year-old, but again, okay. 
 
 
You could argue that this girl (who, aptly, wants to be a psychologist) is the product of a beauty-obsessed, image-based spectacular society in which minors feel the need to distort themselves (digitally or surgically) for fame, validation and/or $$$. You could, alternatively, just gawk/perve at the tiny gal and go about your business, until such time as another Human Barbie headline comes along. Either/or. We're stumped. If someone could do a PhD on the Human Barbie phenomenon and then explain it us, that'd be great.